Archive for the 'Whining' Category

Again?

Is this another post where Sock Girl moans about how hard this NaBloPoMo thing is?

Why yes, yes it is.

But I feel all achey and tired, and I’ll be back tomorrow… hopefully having considered my own “Pearl” challenge a tiny bit more.  Thank you for your patience.

My life is a fixer-upper

I think I’m losing my ever-loving mind. Now that I am unemployed, I feel like my life is a fixer-upper and I only have certain tools in my toolbox, and I live in a place where there are only so many tools available at the home stores. So I wait for a flyer about a cool tool that I might use to fix my house, and while I’m waiting I’m walking around that fixer upper poking at things and just feeling worse about stuff. I am not well suited for this. But I’ve made a few discoveries…

– No matter how many times you hit refresh, it doesn’t make jobs magically appear on the boards.

– Employment Insurance in Canada is very sloooooow in making decisions on claims.

– Reading economic news is not a good idea.

– Having a weekend job may feel like a bad idea every Saturday morning, but it sure seems like a good idea when you actually have some grocery money.

– Both exercise and ice cream have the capacity to make me feel better. I think I need to get more of both.

Which brings me to a much more lighter topic… exercise. As you know, I have been taking the family taekwondo class with the girls. While I spend at least three hours a week in the dojang, only one of those is for my own actual participation. Family class is free for the families of members, it’s something we can do together, and it is a great deal of fun. This past Wednesday was my first class since getting my first belt in December. And, for the record, while I do have my first belt, I don’t actually have a dobok (the white jammie-like uniform).

So as I was getting ready for class, in my black yoga pants and my extra-extra-large-swimming-on-my-frame black beer shirt (classy, I know, but it was free too), my girls started to nag me to try to find something white to wear. I don’t own white exercise stuff. I have two black pairs of yoga pants, and that is the entire wardrobe. A selection would suggestion that I actually do more exercise….

“Well, at least wear your belt,” they said.

“I can’t,” I said. “It would be wrong.”

“No, you earned it,” they replied. “Wear it anyway.”

“No,” I replied, frantically trying to think of a fashion reason why, but coming up with nothing better than, “because it would not go with my ninja attire. We ninja have rules about these things.”

So now, we have a running dialogue about ninjas happening, and I like that. Somehow in my mind, if I can turn my mental images around from poking about the fixer-upper house to the stealth agile movements of a ninja I think I will be far better off mentally. I think that ninja should kick the crap out of that house. You see how good exercise can be?

Of course, fixer-upper or ninja, there will always be room for the ice cream. That goes without saying.

Perhaps it is time to let it go

I have casually mentioned from time to time that I really like office supplies.  I could browse the aisles of the office supply store for hours on end.  Blank notebook…. the perfect pen…. the smell of a fresh box of crayons… beautiful white erasers…. ahhhh… the joy…

And I like the familiarity of the supplies in my workspace.  I like my little purple pens, and my colourful little paper clips.  There is comfort there.

Then a couple of days ago this guy rushes into the office and says to me, “I’m giving a presentation in the next room.  Can I borrow a dry erase marker.  I don’t have that much to write.”  Now that last sentence sticks out in my mind because really, who would say that?  Who would even think I might be concerned about the amount of ink one uses if they borrow a pen?  It wouldn’t occur to me. 

But what did occur to me was that the only dry erase marker I had in my entire pencil cup was my orange skinny one.  I’m very attached to my orange dry erase marker.  It doesn’t stink.  I’ve had it to write “back in 5 minutes” on our old office whiteboard and it survived when even our in/out magnets got stolen.  It survived the move to our new office building.  It was with great hesitation that I admitted that yes, I did indeed have a dry erase marker.

“It’s just a thin one,” I said as I showed it to him.  The vibrant orange cap hinting at my lie when I said, “It probably won’t do at all.”

“It’s perfect,” he said (and it was).  He added, “I’ll bring it back soon.”

Which he didn’t of course.  It’s been two days and the marker has yet to return.  I’m pretty sure the presentation is over.

So I complained to my co-worker.  I whined about my orange marker not being returned.  I lamented the broken promises.

It was then that she pointed out that we haven’t actually had a white board in our office since we moved to the new building three months ago and maybe I should just let it go.

‘Ya think? 

(Sigh).  Maybe she is right. 

Or not.  I went home that night and, still wound up about the entire event, told my girls that someone came into my office and borrowed a marker and never returned it.  Dolittle said, “Hope it wasn’t the orange one.”  (That’s my girl!)

(Sniff). 

Maybe I should alert the media and let people in the area know there is a lying, pen-thieving lunatic on the loose who is not to be trusted with precious office supplies?  Or put posters on lamp posts with an artist sketch and a number to call if anyone has seen my marker?  I don’t think that’s too over the top… do you?

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Recollection

Last week was nasty. Back to back failed job interviews and various emails and conversations designed to reinforce my worthlessness took a certain mental toll on my psyche.

But as a parent I spend a fair bit of time encouraging my girls to see a larger picture… not get hung up on small obstacles of life and the opinions of others. It’s very hard to dole out that sort of advice and arrive home moping about one’s predicament. So I tuck the hurt away, and publicly wander around as if nothing is any different.

There is a part of me, though, which begins to wonder if it is possible that I am correct in my perceptions of self value when the whole world seems to think otherwise? How is it that every opportunity passes by? How is it that one can work hard, pray devotedly, live kindly and still seem to come out the loser every single time?

And as I pondered this in an odd moment of solitude, two words restored my faith. Two little words…

Big.

Bird.

Do you remember how it used to be that only Big Bird could see Snuffalupagus? Each and every time he went to show the world his friend, his friend had disappeared only to have everyone thinking BB might be a tad over-imaginative…. perhaps even looney. And this went on for years and years – perhaps even a decade. But Snuffy was real.

And I am not the loser last week had me positioned to be.

G*d willing, it doesn’t take a decade for the world to figure that out.

Hello again

I apologize for my brief absence. I would like to say that I haven’t posted because I was up to my eyeballs in something fun and creative. I would like to say that I haven’t posted because I’ve been on some tropical beach sipping umbrella drinks. I would like to say that I have been doing any number of fun things. But I can’t. Frankly life has offered a few things to whine about lately, and as I do hate to be a whiner I simply haven’t posted. I’ve wallowed briefly and now I’m snapping out of it.

Today is a brand new day. And tommorrow is a holiday here in Charlottetown so today is also the end of a week that felt like a millennium. I plan to take the family on a little off-Island field trip to the zoo tommorrow. Time to tug on the threadbare bootstraps, shake off the glums, slap a smile on my face, and bring on the happy. Onward!

Protected: Not Much Going On

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