Archive for the 'Behind the Bar' Category

Bar smarts

I was behind the bar lending a brief hand when a guy comes over and orders a beer and a shot. As I am about to take his money his friend comes over and says “No, this round is on me.” The two men bicker back and forth about who will pay, and Guy2 takes the $10 bill off Guy1 and rips in half. He then passes me a $20. Although I am in complete disbelief (having never seen anyone rip up someone else’s money before) I make Guy2’s change and give it to him.

At this point Guy1 slides half of the ripped $10 over to me, picks up the other half, and tells me he’ll be back later. I’m hoping he is serious, as half of a $10 is of little value to either one of us, yet a long time seems to pass before he makes a return.

So, probably close to two hours later (or maybe it just felt like that long), Guy1 comes back to the bar. There is a new guy (Guy3) standing next to him. “I’ll have a shot and a beer,” Guy1 says as he lays the other half of the $10 on the bartop. I turn my back to pour the shot (as the liquor is behind me) and Guy3 says to Guy1 “Do you think if you rip your money in half it will go twice as far?”

Guy1 turns to Guy3 and says with passable innocent sounding undertones “You don’t think she’ll take it?”

Guy3 assures him I most likely will not.

“Do you want to make a bet?” Guy1 asks.

Guy3, of course, lost the bet, and I have been amused thinking about the exchange ever since.

Wedding Planning Advice

I have had the opportunity to help out at numerous weddings over the past couple of years, and have seen it done many many ways. Some weddings were traditional. Some were more original. Some were classy. And some were… oh, how shall I say this… perhaps it’s better if I don’t even go there. Let’s just say I have decided to pass on to readers a few things they may want to avoid in planning their own special event…

First, hire a caterer that knows the provincial laws. It isn’t cool if the the wait staff have to wrestle full bottles of illegal wine out of the hands of your grandmother after the dinner. You can give her the wine tommorrow. (And, come to think of it, perhaps if you had put glasses on the table, she’d have been using one, making the task a bit easier to manage).

Next, consider chosing a wedding party that doesn’t take the word “PARTY” in their title as a do-or-die responsibility. When they can’t make it through their own speeches without slurring, then perhaps the party started a tad too early.

And while we are on the topic of speeches, the “F” word is never appropriate in a wedding speech. Even if granny does have a full bottle of wine in front of her.

And perhaps the person toasting the bridesmaids ought not admit he doesn’t even know their names.

I also believe the wedding party should absolutely not be the people who are smuggling liquor in their purses. As well, just because the bride CAN drink an entire bottle of Baha and still stagger through a dance, doesn’t mean she has to do it on her wedding day.

A bar fight is never appropriate, but it is even less so when it is the groom and a guest.

And, while it is perfectly fine to have yourself a pot-luck wedding and have guests bring food, it is perhaps less than classy to charge your guests admission to come to your wedding and eat the food that they have brought. I’m just saying.


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