I have been looking for a new place to live. The girls and I have been craving a fresh start, and I have no doubt that new living space would go a long way to helping us heal.
Not everyone seems to get this. I am finding men, in particular, don’t get that there is psychology to a house. First reactions are typically “it will get better eventually”. No doubt it will, but must I seriously reside among my ghosts waiting for that to happen?
So recently I went to see a property which had only an exterior picture in its sales pitch. On paper it appeared to have pretty much everything I’d want. Despite the fact that I hadn’t completely figured out how I’d make it happen, I made an appointment to view it. Then I drove by numerous times awaiting my appointment, scoping out the neighbourhood, trying to imagine what it might be like inside.
While scoping out this property one thing that occurred to me was that it had a double driveway. For some reason this made me remember that part in the book The Secret where they talk about the woman longed for a partner and then realizes that she is taking up her entire closet (or maybe it was a dresser or something), and as soon as she makes room for this partner that doesn’t exist yet, low and behold one enters her life, a gift from the universe.
So, I looked at this double driveway and thought to myself, “What would the universe bring to a driveway like that? What would I want it to bring?”
And then it occurred to me, “Dear G*d, if you bring another car, please let it not be driven by an arsehole.” Because really, there are a few facts we need to come to terms with here:
1) I am a crappy judge of men apparently, and
2) I have no freaking idea how to be single as an older, frumpy, over-worked mom.
As it turned out, the property was a complete and total wreck, so I need not even have had this internal discussion with myself at all, but for the record…. If I *do* find a place to live with a double driveway… there is comfort in knowing that parking dead centre can send a message to the universe too: One that says, “Lonely and alone are not the same thing… this space is mine…. mine alone…. and I am perfectly ok with that.”
Or maybe it says, “this girl has no idea how to park”.