Archive for January, 2011

Game. On.

There is a mouse  rat  kangaroo horrifying creature living in my basement.

I realized this just prior to Christmas when I was working in my office in the wee hours of the morning, and I could hear the knawing, scratching noises below the floor.  As discomforting as this seemed, I was at least grateful the varmint was in my basement, all dark and clay and icky, and not living in the lighter, drier, crammed-with-clutter upstairs I call home.

I heard my new downstairs neighbour several times over the holidays under various floors, so I mixed up a wee cocktail of Cheez Whiz and warfarin, summoned up my gumption, and trugged to my now creature infested basement to leave a little “welcome to the neighbourhood” snack.  Apparently he wasn’t fooled, as days later the pitter patter of little feet could still occasionally be heard beneath the floor.

Now, if I may sidestep here for a moment, any reader of Harry Potter knows the best cure for a touch with Dementors is chocolate.  For Christmas, my dear Goddaughter was kind enough to include Godiva chocolate truffles in my gift.  I will admit it here now… while I willingly share my Christmas chocolate with my family, I will sneak away and hide the really, really good stuff for myself.  And that I did.  In case of Dementors, of course.  After enjoying half the box a truffle or two, I hid the remaining manna in the bottom drawer of my dresser and proceeded to share the rest of my suggary gifts over the holiday season until my children are now a bit addicted to chocolate.

So the night before last, while seemingly deep in sleep, I had a dream that my neighbour under the floorboards has made his way to the upper house and was currently eating my hidden Godiva chocolate.  I woke up, and listened in the dark wondering if this could actually be real… I listened harder…. I leaned closer… nothing.  And back to bed I went.

Later yesterday, I start to tell Rainbow about my silly dream, and how I was listening in the dark close to my hidden stash.  “What if it wasn’t a dream?” she asked.  “Or what if your like a dream psychic or something?”  (In retrospect I realize this was probably just a ruse to find out where my chocolate stash is).  No, I assured her.  It was completely quiet.  And I proceeded to open the drawer to show her the proof it was a dream…

Only to find…

A half gnawed Godiva wrapper.  And no Godiva truffle in it.

The dang kangaroo beast found and ate my Godiva chocolate.  And there was no way I was going to eat the three remaining truffles, regardless of possible Dementor attacks.  If you think “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, you should see the fury of a woman whose Godiva has been tainted.

Clearly my basement neighbour had more refined taste than Cheez Whiz.

A plot was immediately hatched.  The. Beast. Must. Die.

Surgery was intricately performed on my remaining truffles, their insides hollowed out with a toothpick, a new warfarin-truffle centre was carefully prepared and refilled, they were smooshed back together, rewrapped, and placed back in the box in the bottom drawer of my dresser.

Game. On.


A Post for New Readers

There are several search terms that bring people to my blog on a somewhat regular basis….

Things that are related to socks, particularly blue ones, can bring visitors here…
Dairy Queen Moolattes is also a popular search term (which apparently I wrote about at some point)…
But for the past 30 days, the most frequent thing people find this blog for is….

Fake Nose and Glasses.  Seriously.  In the last 30 days, 74 people have come here for that very purpose.  (Note: I am aware that 74 may not sound like a lot to people who get loads of blog traffic, but over here in the house of Sock, that’s huge!)

Now, those who know me know I have a soft spot for this Halloween staple.  To me, kept in plain view, those glasses are a wonderful symbol to remind me to never take myself too seriously.  But, given the recent interest in these fun specs, I have decided to contemplate some practical uses for them, in an effort to better serve my new blog visitors.

The most obvious use, I think, would be as an instant disguise.  Like when magazines black out the face so that you won’t be able to guess who the best or worst dressed is… they could use a fake nose and glasses instead.  See…

Instant disguise.  How practical would that be in real life?  Do something wrong at work, pop on the glasses and… nope, Sockie’s not here right now, sorry.

Alternately… having a bad skin day?  Big old blemish on your nose?  Maybe you just have a red-sniffly look going on?  No problem.  Fake nose and glasses and presto… instant concealer.  Cheaper than high end cosmetics and reusable too.  You will be both blemish free and saving the world at the same time.  It doesn’t get better than that.

Or, in view of the recent Christmas season… you know that ugly sweater your granny gave you that you need to wear to be polite, but your kind of embarrassed to be seen in?   A fake nose and glasses can give your friends and co-workers something else to focus on instead of that reindeer jumper… instant distraction.

Your welcome. I hope that was helpful.

Resolutions. Sort of.

I have been pondering that annual “to-do” list of good intentions known as resolutions, and I have given a few moments of consideration to what it is I want out of 2011…

If I were to unleash the power of intention, what exactly would I intend???

sock-bullet I would want to put more positivity into the world,

sock-bullet I would want to read more, and write more, and learn more,

sock-bullet I would want to grow as a person (mentally and spiritually…  I’m pretty sure no amount of intending will make me taller),

sock-bullet I would want to see the humour in life (because that may be the only way I think I’ll get through parenting the teen years),

sock-bullet I would want to save more (and by more I mean any), and give more (however meagre),

sock-bullet And I would want to smile more and remember not to take myself so darn seriously.

This year, I will not quantify any of it… I will not commit to x number of blog posts, or x number of smiles.  Nor will I revisit everything I did or didn’t accomplish last year.  It’s a new page.  It’s a new year.  May it be filled with focus, joy and peace.

Happy New Year, xo

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