Archive for December, 2010

The Year Ends Softly

I have never told anyone this… and I’m not sure if it is the New Year’s wine or the New Year’s self reflection that brings me to tell it now, but I feel like sharing.  It may seem far fetched, but I assure you it happened, and is not unlike several things that have happened to me in the past…

A long time ago, back when I was single and living alone, I sat one evening in my livingroom and was so overcome by loneliness that I physically ached.  The emotion was physically painful.  There, on the couch in a house I owned, my younger self felt ripped by that crippling emotion with a power I cannot express.

And, within minutes of that happening, the phone rang.  It was a neighbour who lived across the street and a few houses down.  She said she had just driven by my house and was overcome but a very deep sadness, so she thought she’d call and see if I was ok.

I was ok, I assured her.  And it wasn’t a lie.  By calling me, by reaching out, she had just made it ok.

— // —

It is nearly 2011.

Each year opens with hope and promise and resolution… a fresh page of life, ready to be written.  But for the last couple of years, with all the rocky storms of unemployment and the tenuous self-identity that seem to go with it, that optimism has been tempered by a healthy dose of realism.

But this year ends softly.

This year ends with me in a job that I enjoy.  Yes, technically it’s temporary, but tomorrow is not yet written, and today I have happy, busy work.

Despite the ups and downs and brutal self reflection, I have through it all had good health, and good family, and have never lost love nor laughter.

I have an amazing best friend that helps me stay both grounded and buoyed.  She laughs both with me, and at me, and nods knowingly as I vent. She is a gift.

I have experienced the kindness of both people who have known me a lifetime, and people who have only crossed my path.

I have made new friends, both in real life and on-line (or both), and each is a treasure.

I may not own a house anymore, but life is oh so very full.  As I enter 2011, I want to hold onto the gratitude for all I have, I want to rejoice in the people in my life, and I want to reach out to others when I can.  I want to revel in the gifts that life brings, and be able to laugh when it doesn’t work out quite the way I plan.

The year has ended softly.  And it is a lovely place to be.

— // —

I am acutely aware of how lonely this holiday season can be for some people.  If you are one of those people, please know that it can get better.  Rainbows can follow rain, and laughter can follow sorrow.

And for all my friends and readers (for you are all friends), I hope your year ends softly.  And I hope your 2011 holds joy.

Happy New Year. xo

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The Quilt

Because of the content of this post, I have been unable to tell this story here before Christmas.  I am delighted to be able to tell you now…

There are three farmer’s markets here in Charlottetown in the summer… one of which (the best one) falls on a day I always work, and the other two were new this past summer.  So when the two new markets opened, Rainbow and I were delighted to have this new opportunity to explore.

We set out for the first Friday market, just a block from our home, and Rainbow was immediately drawn to a table where a lady was selling raffle tickets.  First prize was a china cabinet, second was a quilt, third was a set of Paderno pots, and fourth was a tent.  She loved the quilt.  She talked to the lady selling the tickets briefly, and asked me to buy her one.  So, I offered up my toonie ($2 coin).

The next market the lady selling tickets was there again.  Again Rainbow went to the table to talk to the lady.  She asked for another ticket, and again I bought her one.  She asked that each time I see the lady, even if she wasn’t with me, that I buy her a ticket.  I agreed.

And so began a summer of ticket buying and decorative planning.  She picked paint chips that would match her dream quilt.  She picked accessories to go with her new decor.  She imagined what would happen if she won 1st prize and pondered whether the second prize winner would trade.

But, as fate is wont to do, the day of the draw came and went, and no call came.  Not for first, second, or any other prize in that raffle.  The dream faded, and life went on.

And life did go on.  Summer passed, and fall was nearly done as well.  November was not without its stresses, and it seemed there was little that could rekindle my spirits at times.  And then the phone rang.

The caller introduced herself as Mrs. R.  She said she was the lady selling tickets on a quilt this past summer.  She was very disappointed that Rainbow didn’t win the quilt, so she was making her one for a Christmas surprise.  She tried to find very similar fabrics, and thought it was pretty close.

A perfect stranger was using her time and resources to make my child’s dream a reality.  I was touched beyond words that there was such kindness in the world.

When Christmas day arrived it was probably the most joyful spot in her her morning.

And, of course, owning the most perfect quilt in the world has the added bonus that each morning one’s bed must be made and admired 🙂

Merry Christmas my lovely blog friends.  I hope your dreams came true too.  And I hope to be here more in the near future.

Dear Santa

While there were a few things that kind of sucked about this last year, for the most part it’s been really, really good.  I’ve had the opportunity to work with a couple of really great teams, I’ve got a wonderful family, great friends, and lots of blessings in my life.

Having said that, if you have a little room in the bottom of your gift bag, there are a couple of things I wouldn’t mind this year:

– A new math teacher for my kid.  Quite frankly I think he’s an incompetent ass with an attitude.  If you could fix this, or miraculously make her understand math without requiring his teaching, that would be FABULOUS.

– My other child could use a teensy bit of self-confidence, and some stress-coping skills, because she’s wonderful and competent and sometimes just needs to breathe, relax, and let stuff go a bit.  If maybe you have some magic fairy dust or have some kind of magic Santa spell or something that would impart this great gift, I would appreciate that.

– Also, if you give me the ability to require less sleep, that would be handy.  You must have some tricks in that regard given how much you accomplish in one night.  In fact, if you would just pass on the secret to your great productivity, I would be sure to make the best of it.

– I think i-pods are cool and look like they’d be both fun and useful.  Just sayin’.

I will leave you some milk and cookies,
Love,
Sock Girl


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