There is no question that I have a deep seated fear of unemployment, and that the pending end date on my current job weigh heavy on my mind. It flashes through my mind at least 100 times, even for a second, the thought: you will be unemployed again at Christmas. And I feel a little sick inside as fear momentarily overtakes me.
But the rational part of me knows that everything will be ok… that I have found enough weeks of employment that I will qualify for unemployment benefits to help keep us floating for a time… that maybe, just maybe, the job I’m meant to find will emerge somewhere, somehow.
But some days I have more fearful thoughts about the matter than rational ones. It truly never leaves my mind for very long.
And now I wonder if that might be part of the problem. If, as many of those consultants who teach manifesting one’s ideal life might suggest, we are focussed on the negative, how can we bring ourselves the positive? Am I so fearful that this could become self-fulfilling?
So I think I need to do some work to turn this mental train around. While it may not bring me the job I need, it will certainly alleviate the stress I feel. I need to:
- Live in the now. When I hear that little voice in my head say, “December 16th is coming, get your fear on,” I need to shoo it away and say, “Today I have a job and I am darn grateful.”
- Recognize my own strengths. I truly lack confidence. While I mask it, this entire experience of joblessness and job hunting has left me feeling battered, betrayed and incompetent. And I have to recognize that this is the result of other people’s projections and behaviours and not reality. I need to recall what I excel at and celebrate that.
- I need to visualize what I want and hold that in my head. I might even make myself a vision board.
So that is one of my goals for the rest of this month. To let it go, and make that the habit instead of the fear.
Thanks for listening.