Well, we’re having our second bit of a cold snap here, so yesterday I stopped by the furnace oil company and put some money on the account and asked if I could have $300 of oil delivered… for the last year or so $300 has been the minimum delivery order (or $400 if you wanted it faster). The woman looked at me like I had two heads…
“The minimum oil delivery is $351.89,” she stated in a matter of fact tone that implied everyone on the planet knew that.
So I asked for $351.89 worth of oil.
Seriously, who comes up with a number like that? What genius said, “hey… we need to raise our minimum order price… how about $351.89?” I understand that in all likelihood that is the cost of a certain number of litres, or many some top secret significant number only memorable to oil company workers, but couldn’t they have rounded it to $350 or $355? And what would happen if I already had oil in my tank and only $351.88 would fit?
Which brings me to my other cold weather point. Our house is drafty in certain places… the front door, the corner of the master bedroom, and the entire kitchen are significant heat eaters. I had to move the pile of sweaters I have against the cold bedroom corner wall and there was snow, or frost, or white cold stuff ON THE INSIDE of the house there. I have no idea how that’s even possible, but it is.
So, in my attempt to at least warm up the draft from the front door, off to the hardware store I went and bought some window plastic. Our plan was to seal it from inside the porch like it was a big window. That way, the door could still be accessed in an emergency (just break the thin plastic), but the draft would be blocked in a way that is not visible from the living room. The plan worked beautifully and the living room has warmed up significantly. It worked so well, in fact, that now I’m wondering…
Why don’t they make really big house plastic so I can just wrap my whole house in it from the outside until winter is over? They could make it all shrink wrappy for people who care about asthetic appeal, or make the plastic some festive colour or pattern or something for those who like something a little funky or artistic. They could even make wrapping accessories to boost sales, like ribbon and bows and things, so people could make their wrapped houses look like presents. And there would be a whole new job market for expert gift wrappers. It would extend their season significantly. Some wrappers might even get their own show on HGTV.
It was -23C yesterday… (that’s -9.4 F) … and -31C with the windchill (-23.8F)… I’m only partially kidding about this.