Crimes of Flatulence

Bathroom humour has gotten a little out of hand at our house of late, and it seems to have crossed the line. I’m not going to point fingers (or noses as it were) at anyone in particular, but suffice it to say that certain bodily gases were being used as a weapon (ie, to push the buttons of others) rather than discretely dealt with in a manner which did not violate the respect of others (or their ability to stay comfortably in the same room, as the case might be). It was time for drastic measures.

We have now instituted a Toot Toll. One must pay $.25 to each person in the room should you make the conscious decision to let ‘er rip in the company of others. And people governed by this new rule have been sufficiently warned that Sock Girl will really keep your money if you choose to offend. The bathroom is a free zone so you better keep your ears open and your nose closed if you’re in there brushing your teeth. Your personal bedroom is also a free zone provided you have given anyone else in the room fair warning. (Not sure how that will work out when one of the most offensive aromas can be produced by someone who shares a room with yours truly).

Interestingly, this plan (knock wood) seems to be working beautifully. The person typically whining about the acts of others is now raking in the bucks and thinking this was the best plan ever. Time will tell.

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In other news, as I was leaving for work yesterday, my girls were chasing the dog with a Q-tip so they could swab his mouth for a sample of DNA.

Do you think they’re sneaking down at night and watching CSI? I’m pretty sure DNA rarely comes up on the Treehouse channel.

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2 Responses to “Crimes of Flatulence”


  1. 1 Janet May 5, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    Brilliant. I’ll definitely have to keep this plan in mind. I feel certain it will become an issue in our house.

  2. 2 ramblingmom May 8, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    How’s that going? Are you rich yet??


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