Last week was nasty. Back to back failed job interviews and various emails and conversations designed to reinforce my worthlessness took a certain mental toll on my psyche.

But as a parent I spend a fair bit of time encouraging my girls to see a larger picture… not get hung up on small obstacles of life and the opinions of others. It’s very hard to dole out that sort of advice and arrive home moping about one’s predicament. So I tuck the hurt away, and publicly wander around as if nothing is any different.

There is a part of me, though, which begins to wonder if it is possible that I am correct in my perceptions of self value when the whole world seems to think otherwise? How is it that every opportunity passes by? How is it that one can work hard, pray devotedly, live kindly and still seem to come out the loser every single time?

And as I pondered this in an odd moment of solitude, two words restored my faith. Two little words…



Do you remember how it used to be that only Big Bird could see Snuffalupagus? Each and every time he went to show the world his friend, his friend had disappeared only to have everyone thinking BB might be a tad over-imaginative…. perhaps even looney. And this went on for years and years – perhaps even a decade. But Snuffy was real.

And I am not the loser last week had me positioned to be.

G*d willing, it doesn’t take a decade for the world to figure that out.


7 Responses to “Recollection”

  1. 1 Rambling Mom October 22, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    Kermit has come through for me in need a time or two, so I certainly think that Big Bird rates up there.

  2. 2 LSM October 22, 2007 at 10:28 pm

    Hang in there! I just keep thinking all your hard work and persistence is going to pay off soon.

  3. 3 Simone October 23, 2007 at 10:23 pm

    Of course you’re not a loser! I know that! Most of the whole world knows that! Job interviews are peculiar things. I don’t think you should see them as a reflection of the real world. Keep plugging away and I’m sure (I’m very very sure) that eventually the perfect thing will land in your lap. You’re just learning the art of infinite patience in the meantime.

  4. 4 Bethany October 24, 2007 at 5:50 pm

    Hang in there- you are not a loser.

  5. 5 Alto2 October 24, 2007 at 9:20 pm

    You’re not a loser, but maybe you need to start thinking outside the box for your next job opportunity. What else could you be doing with the skills you have? I also wonder whether you could use a bit of coaching on interviewing skills. Your college should be able to help you with that.

  6. 6 TX Poppet October 25, 2007 at 8:49 pm

    Found your blog via NaBloPoMo. Glad I did.

  7. 7 Tanya October 27, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    Snuffy rocks and so do you!
    You make a difference in so many ways and in so many lives. Believe that.

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