Published September 29, 2007
Rainbow saved up her money to buy her hamster a car. It was a tiny yellow car somewhat resembling a narrow Volkswagen.
Carefully, she placed her hamster in the car. Despite the fact that he was backwards, I have to admit he was cute.
Then it happened…
The car accidentally dropped from her hands, with the hamster still inside. She screamed “He’s dead!” She lifted the still hamster from the car, his limp legs out to the sides. Sobbing, he passed him into the shirt I was folding.
I looked down at Smokey. He was still breathing, but other than that showing no real sign of the lively critter he typically was. Nothing else moved. Not a whisker.
I held him in the shirt for some time. Rainbow could not be consoled. I placed him back in his cage and offered her the comfort I could.
Smokey has been “sleeping” for the better part of two days now. Personally, I think he’s in some kind of a hamster coma.
He seems to be breathing normally, and his sleeping position has changed. And I’m really not sure what to do for a hamster in a coma. I never touch him or talk to him… and doing so now may just be too much of a shock to the poor little guy. I just keep peeking in his cage, hoping to find a party going on inside.
But for now, hamster hibernation continues.
Published September 18, 2007
Today’s celebration – childhood perceptions…
Rainbow: Mom, I really don’t think my teacher is all that bright.
Me: Really? Why is that?
Rainbow: Today she asked me what 2 plus 2 is! Shouldn’t she know the answer to that?!
Rainbow: I mean really… it’s as if she wants us to teach her math!
Published September 17, 2007
Critters , Family Jewels
A time of changes…
The leaves are changing…
The dog is changing…
Yes… I am fairly certain that when I went out for eggrolls yesterday I had a long haired Sheltie that looked like this…
And when I came back with eggrolls, he seems to have been replaced with a short-haired clone with
a bad coiffure an interesting hairdoo that looks like this…
And just in time for the cooler weather too!
Baby needs a new winter coat.
Published September 14, 2007
There seems always to be a point in time – a life moment – that dissects one’s existence. When we are younger we compartmentalize our lives into events before high school and events after. After we marry, the marker might move to the wedding and life becomes divided into life events as a single and life as a married. For me, you are that life moment. My life became all that occurred before Angel, and all that has occurred since.
I wonder what you think of me now. In the early years following that moment, I would refuse to work on the day of your anniversary. I would go out to dinner, visit your grave, sing “Happy Birthday”, and cry. This year I will work at least 15 hours that day. As a result, I will not visit you until the following day. But I will still cry. I admit that I have allowed the needs of the living to take precedence over celebration of the dead. Now that you will be nine I expect that you might understand that birthdays are sometimes shifted to meet a family’s schedules. At least I hope you understand that. And forgive me. Again.
Tomorrow is your ninth anniversary. Anniversary. It sounds as if you were married. That truly bothers me. But Birth-day is just wrong. And Death-day is more so. There must be a better word. How about Angel-day? Or Angelversary? That might work.
And, despite the fact that I talk about celebrating your existence, I’m sure it has not escaped your notice that your resting place makes you seem a bit like the poor child with the tattered jacket looking in on the snazzy playground. Forgive me that as well. Again, it is more a case of tending to the needs of the living. Trust me when I tell you that it is no measure of the love I have for you.
Happy Angelversary, darling. You will always be my baby. I love you.
Published September 12, 2007
Celebrations , Family Jewels
Today’s celebration = Possibilitites.
I’ll be the first to admit that it is easy to feel defeated sometimes. When I (yet again) don’t make the short list for some entry level position I could probably do with my eyes closed… when others appear to go out of their way to show my seeming insignificance… when I feel the weight of someone I don’t even know judging me… like the air slowly leaking from a balloon, confidence slowly oozes from one’s psyche, even when that rational thought tells you the opinions of others is just a bunch of hooey.
Well, for some of us, confidence would be shaken.
Rainbow has been somewhat negative about my idea that she should try Taekwondo with her sister later this week. It seems the idea of breaking wood, which she apparently thinks Taekwondo is about, isn’t sitting well with her (not that she’s likely to attempt breaking wood any time soon). “Fine,” I thought. It’s not for everyone. No big deal. And maybe she will change her mind after she watches some lessons.
Then today she proudly announced that she had snapped her frozen yogurt tube in half, clean through the plastic wrapper while trying to make it “soft but ice-bergy.” “This means I can probably break wood! I can even be a black belt some day if I practice! I think we should make a black belt out of paper for me to wear around the house. Will you help me?”
Ah yes… making crafts is the end results of most all of life’s decisions when you’re seven. And suddenly an accidental snap means achievement is possible. Snap. Confidence is restored. Anything is possible.
So today, I celebrate possibilities. Because sometimes believing things are possible is the impetus to making things happen. Belief makes things possible.
And I suppose a little paper black belt doesn’t hurt either.