To the makers of Happy Meal toys
Published March 30, 2007
Do you know what puts the “happy” in a “happy” meal…. the dang toy. Are you people on drugs? Can we chat for a minute?
These are supposed to be “HAPPY” meals. Not “CREEPY” meals. If children open up their little paper bags and pull out their prize only to yell “What the hell is this?” there is probably something wrong.
Problem #1… Wizard of Oz. A story which, I admit, I have a hard time figuring out. I’m sure it has its charms. But, think about it… a young girl and her dog, travelling alone in a strange land, killing witches, befriending the likes of a living scarecrow with no brain… it’s all just wrong. What ever possessed you to think kids would come clamouring to collect the entire series of characters from a story most of them probably haven’t seen and some parents wouldn’t let them watch?
Problem #2 – “Madame Alexander” dolls. First, her name sounds like a prostitute. So let’s slap that on a kid’s toy, shall we? Second, dolls which do nothing but have those blinky eyes are just freaking creepy. It doesn’t matter if you put her in a pink skirt and call her “Glinda the Good Witch”… she’s still freaking creepy! Exhibit A:
“Doesn’t she look fun?! Look, honey! A doll with bad hair and little blinky eyes! You lucky girl!”
Oh dear G*d… do you know what I just realized??? Do you see the resemblance?
That’s Gilda on the left, and me as a child on the right. Same hair (particularly the bangs). We both have eyes that blink….
I know I’m going to have trouble sleeping after this.