To Gum Smaking Students

Do you know how it is so peaceful to stand afar and just watch cows in a field, minding their own business, chewing, chewing, chewing…

Cows do not smack as they chew. If they did, I am convinced they would be the very first to fill the farmer’s freezer… I’m just saying.

Why is it that I am a magnet to gum smackers? If I go to class early, so that I can wisely choose a seat which I feel will minimize my chances of being close to a smaker, you nonetheless pop a new wad into your mouth then choose to park yourself as close as possible to me. And if I come in later, inevitably the only seats remaining will be directly beside a smacker. Or two.

Smack, pop, smack, pop…
“Blah, blah, blah,” said the professor…
Smack, pop, smack, pop….
“And it is really important to remember…”
Smack, pop, smack, pop….
“Blah, blah, blah…”

I am really trying to pay attention to the course material, yet all I can concentrate on is your incessant smacking. It is like trying to concentrate with fireworks going off (only without the colours, lights, or the fun). By the end of class, I want to reach over and stuff my hand into your mouth and yank the gum right out of your face. If I am not concentrating on the smack, I’m thinking about doing just that.

And have you thought about gum? It is a food that you are not supposed to swallow. Does that not tell you that there is something wrong with it? Clearly it is not doing either one of us any good… I’m just saying.

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2 Responses to “To Gum Smaking Students”


  1. 1 Alto2 January 25, 2007 at 7:28 pm

    Uh, oh. I’m a gum-smacker. That’s why I don’t chew it very often, or I chew it when I know I’m going to be alone. My sole exception is when I’m driving long distances; it helps keep me awake.

    You might speak with your professor to see how s/he feels on the topic. Maybe there could be an announcement that no gum-chewing is allowed in the lecture hall. My only other thought would be to sit in the center of the front row or to sit in the very back row.

  2. 2 ChaCha January 30, 2007 at 2:00 am

    I so know how you feel, it’s like you could walk on over to them and choke them when they start smacking their gum. Or secretly hope they choke on it lol,


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