What My Girls Are NOT Getting For Christmas
Published November 15, 2006
Rants , Unexpected Sightings
So I make a quick trip to the grocery store this morning, and walk past a display of toys (our store sells a wide variety of items). This particular one caught my eye…
I’m a few feet past the display when it hits me… was that a male Barbie packaged with a dozen pairs of female Barbie shoes? WTF?? A Barbie with a shoe fetish? Does Mattel have a new line of fetish dolls? I go back to take a closer look, just so I know what to Google later and discover the doll’s name is Derek. It turns out that he is “Prince Derek, the Royal Cobbler
” which, while it explains the shoes, does not explain a) why a prince would have a side-job in the first place, or b) why he only seems to be making women’s shoes. Obviously there has to be more to the Prince Derek story than I know.
What I do know, however, is (Derek’s alleged shoe fetish aside) that there is no freaking way I’m getting my girls anything with twelve pairs of Barbie shoes. Don’t get me started on Barbie shoes! What were they thinking? Do you know how long it would be before the very favorite pair of those little plastic nuisances would disappear into the dust bunnies, or be eaten by the dog, or vanish in some other mysterious way? That thing has holiday morning disaster written all over it. I’m just saying.