At 8:40 this morning I received the honourary title of “Meanest Mommy in the World,” due entirely to a little incident involving no time for Christmas crafts and impending school bells. I’ve never had an honorary title before… I’m so… proud!
And for my acceptance speech, I’d like to thank
– my daughter, without whose tantrum this award would not have been possible…
– my husband, who by vanishing to the van, allowed me to be the one carrying the screaming, crying, kicking and shoeless child instead of him…
– and to the neighbours, who no doubt saw and heard
Tasmanian Devil dear daughter shrieking in my arms and did not call authorities.
I am truly honored to hold this esteemed title… coveted by moms the world over.
Thank you! Thank you very much! (mwah!!!)
Of course, now that I have this honourary title, I will have to stay up nights thinking of ways to live up to my reputation and keep my award… perhaps by serving healthy food or having early bedtimes… oh I already feel the pressure to perform!!