Archive for August, 2006

15 minutes

Granny over at Granny Gets a Vibrator (sorry… link no longer active) is fighting lymphoma. Since discovering blogs, she has been one of my favourite blog reads, with her wit, feminism and strength. Lately, as she battles Brenda (her cancer), she has shared her journey in poignant, often humourous, and always thought provoking posts.

Not so long ago, she posted about a theory of a guy named Bernie Siegel called “finding your chocolate ice cream.” She quotes, “Think about what you would do if you had fifteen minutes to live. Then do it for the rest of your life.” Now obviously, if I knew I only had 15 minutes it would best be spent either in prayer or ensuring I had hugged my loved ones… but what if all that was taken care of… what would I do with my 15 minutes?

I’ve been pondering this for some time, and it is a very hard list to make. Maybe because my needs are fairly simple and don’t seem worthy of a last 15 minutes, or maybe because they’re so simple I keep thinking I’m missing something great. But I’d probably want to do something creative… maybe colour a picture. Or goofy… maybe dance in mud puddles. Or I’d re-read a well loved children’s story like “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie” or “Paper Bag Princess” just because they’re fun. Or maybe I’d spend the time quietly on the shore. I don’t know. But I do indeed see the point that life and time are far too fragile to put off those simple sorts of pleasures.

So, what’s your chocolate ice cream?

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I, Scorpio

I was dismayed yesterday to discover that Pluto has been demoted. Under new guidelines of the International Astronomical Union it is no longer considered a planet, something its been since 1930. Now, 76 years later, it finds itself in the class of “small solar-system bodies” and is considered a “dwarf planet.”

Pluto has always been among my favourites in the solar system. It’s small, like me. It’s out there, sometimes like me. And, for those have ever read their horoscopes occasionally, Pluto rules the sign Scorpio. I am a Scorpio. And, even though I rarely actually read my horoscope, I have to admit that the fact that my sign is ruled by a big frozen rock that is not a planet is a bit disconcerting.

If you’re walking around “ruled” by a big orbiting rock instead of a real planet, does that mean your now in a weaker, gentler sign? Do you think they’ll re-write the zodiac charts to compensate for Pluto’s demotion? And if they do, will I be in a sign symbolized by something other than a Scorpio? Like a turtle, or a hamster? This could seriously affect my sense of self.

Pluto, if you’re floating around out there feeling down today, can I just say that you will always be a planet to me.

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Wedding Planning Advice

I have had the opportunity to help out at numerous weddings over the past couple of years, and have seen it done many many ways. Some weddings were traditional. Some were more original. Some were classy. And some were… oh, how shall I say this… perhaps it’s better if I don’t even go there. Let’s just say I have decided to pass on to readers a few things they may want to avoid in planning their own special event…

First, hire a caterer that knows the provincial laws. It isn’t cool if the the wait staff have to wrestle full bottles of illegal wine out of the hands of your grandmother after the dinner. You can give her the wine tommorrow. (And, come to think of it, perhaps if you had put glasses on the table, she’d have been using one, making the task a bit easier to manage).

Next, consider chosing a wedding party that doesn’t take the word “PARTY” in their title as a do-or-die responsibility. When they can’t make it through their own speeches without slurring, then perhaps the party started a tad too early.

And while we are on the topic of speeches, the “F” word is never appropriate in a wedding speech. Even if granny does have a full bottle of wine in front of her.

And perhaps the person toasting the bridesmaids ought not admit he doesn’t even know their names.

I also believe the wedding party should absolutely not be the people who are smuggling liquor in their purses. As well, just because the bride CAN drink an entire bottle of Baha and still stagger through a dance, doesn’t mean she has to do it on her wedding day.

A bar fight is never appropriate, but it is even less so when it is the groom and a guest.

And, while it is perfectly fine to have yourself a pot-luck wedding and have guests bring food, it is perhaps less than classy to charge your guests admission to come to your wedding and eat the food that they have brought. I’m just saying.

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