Naked

I got into the shower this morning and she was there again. Blonde. Beautiful. Naked. And plastic.

Have I ever mentioned that I positively, absolutely, undeniably detest naked Barbies? I would probably not even look twice at a fully dressed Barbie doll left lying about the house, but leave her naked in my path and I cringe and shudder and do some evil exorcist-like head spins.

And a naked Ken doll gets me equally disturbed. It’s just wrong, ya’ know? …But I can’t exactly put my finger on why I think it’s wrong…

– Is it a bad child-hood experience trying to dress them in their minuscule, fiddly, skin-tight clothing? It probably happened, but I don’t think that’s it….

– Is it that my own middle-aged sagging bod pales in comparison to their perky plasticness? It probably does, but I don’t think that’s it either…

– Is it that you pay a small fortune for those tiny garments with their matching plastic shoes that never stay on and invariably get lost, only to find your kids think Barbie & Ken are only naked tub toys? That may be part of it…

I may never totally understand my aversion to the whole naked Barbie thing. And I have tried many things to circumvent the Barbie nakedness… I have dressed them myself, I have made them clothing from old socks, I have invested in Barbie bathing suits (complete with plastic flip flops & towels), only to find that, at least in my household, she inevitably becomes a skinny-dipping bathtub hog anyhow. I guess I’ll just have to accept that.

But I think I may have to, for my own sanity, introduce boundaries in the bathroom. It’s one thing to flaunt her plastic nakedness at me, but if I walk on her one more time in the shower, I will be forced to introduce her to the “whirlpool” we keep right beside it. (Flush).

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2 Responses to “Naked”


  1. 1 thalia February 23, 2006 at 4:59 pm

    One thing that I think is creepy about naked Barbies and Ken dolls is their utter lack of genitalia. I think they should have painted-on underwear so they don’t look like something’s missing.

  2. 2 Milu June 23, 2006 at 10:08 am

    Funny 🙂

    My site is Autonews and F1 News


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