I have been a good girl all year. I realize it’s getting kind of late to send my letter, but I was thinking if your elves happen to be ahead of schedule, or if you were feeling a bit drunk and forgot that you don’t actually bring presents to adults, maybe you could toss a few wee things in your sleigh for me?
I hesitate to ask for this, but I was thinking that my own elf might be kind of handy. Theoretically they can fix things, keep a clean house, and make a mean hot chocolate. Who would not want one of those? So, if you are finding your naughty list is particularly long (and I suspect that it is) and you can cut back on your staff a bit, please bring me an elf (but not one a creepy one that jingles, is old and cranky, has hair growing out their ears, and smells like pee… I’d like a cheery, quiet, sweet smelling, elf interested in honing their domestic skills).
Now, I realize that you are not magic outside the seeing everything, time travelling, flying reindeer, fitting down chimney thing… but I have no doubt that anyone who is responsible for the manufacture of so many toys could also come up with a real working magic wand. We could probably save a big long list here if you could actually just send me one of those. I think it would be in both our best interests if you did so. I could just fix what needs fixing, paint what need painting, mend what needs mending, and we could call it a day. I would promise not to use it for mischief. Very often.
So, yes… I realize it is late in the season, and you probably are in the midst of preparations, so I’ll just leave it at that. I will leave cookies.
Love,
Sock Girl
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